Profile Monday: Jane Frost - The Ice Queen Of Keyboards
Get ready, Transcendant fans! It's time to learn about Jane "Frostbite" Frost, our icy keyboard player. This story's so cold, you might need a blanket!
Born: On the coldest day ever (the sun took a day off)
Birthplace: The Chilliest Hospital in Town
Growing Up Frosty:
While other kids were learning to smile, Jane was mastering her famous "ice stare." Her teachers called her "scarily cold." Her first friend was a snowman. When he melted, she didn't even blink.
School Days:
- Top student in "How to Be Really, Really Cold" at Don't-Touch-Me University
- After School: Turned the school pool into a giant ice cube
The Famous Freezer Story:
Teenage Jane locked herself in a big freezer at a goth club. Why? "It was the warmest place there," she said. She came out with cold fingers and wrote a song that makes scary movies sound like kid's music.
Music Skills:
Jane doesn't just play the keyboard. She scares it into making music. Her fingers move so fast, they look blurry in photos. Once, she played a wrong note and a ghost ran away screaming.
Fun "Facts" (Trust us, they're totally real):
- Jane's blood is colder than ice cream
- She once made it snow by accident
- Her stare can freeze a cup of hot coffee
In the Recording Studio:
Making music with Jane is like trying to have a beach day in the North Pole. We spend more money on heaters than on instruments. Sound engineers run away when they see her coming.
What Her Bandmates Say:
Evelyn: "Jane makes icebergs look warm and fuzzy."
Rachael: "I think the Earth is getting warmer just to get away from Jane."
Raven: "I tried holding her hand once. Still can't feel my fingers."
Jane's Favorite Saying:
"If you think I'm cold now, just wait. It gets worse."
So there you have it, brave fans. Jane Frost: the woman who can make summer feel like winter just by walking on stage. If you see her coming, maybe bring a coat. Or two. Or ten.
Stay cool, but not as cool as Jane. That's just dangerous.
