Band Info

The Craigslist Ad That Started It All

Transcendant

12 Aug 2024 — 1 min read

🖤 WANTED: Tortured Souls for Gothic Metal Band 🎸

Are you tired of being misunderstood by your cat? Do you own more black eyeliner than food? Can you headbang and do your taxes simultaneously? Then boy, do we have the band for you!

I'm Evelyn, a drummer with a penchant for blast beats and existential crises. I'm starting a gothic metal band, and I need fellow dark spirits to join my quest for musical domination (or at least a gig at the local dive bar).

Requirements:

Must own at least one item of clothing that isn't black (jk, that's optional)
Ability to brood intensely while playing complex rhythms
Vampires welcome, but no sparkling allowed

Bonus points if you can:

Summon demons with your guitar solos
Make a keyboard sound like the wails of the damned
Turn your bass into a portal to another dimension

Serious inquiries only. By serious, I mean bring your own candles for the ritual.

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